Saving Allen
by splintered
Summary: Things were more fun with Allen around, thought Lavi. Now that that tiny bean sprout was gone, everyone was depressed. Especially Yuu. When a young exorcist dies on a mission, his friends aren't sure what to do. Yullen! LaviXAllen
1. Killing Allen

**"Saving Allen" **

By Phractured Reality

Disclaimer: I neither own D.Gray Man nor any of its characters.

* * *

Everything was blurry. The air was thick with Akuma. Akuma metal and action that illuminated the evening sky. Just like it had for hours before. The two lone exorcists' tango with the masses of metal. Hits, dodges, blasts, and scrapes in the Earl's dance that the Black Order would heavily pay for. And although there were plenty of casualties on enemy grounds, as they would soon learn, it was not without its cost. Even though the white haired exorcist and his companion stood their ground, blast after blast, the Akuma just kept coming. No matter how many were destroyed, more came to replace them. It was a futile fight. It didn't help that one of them was already injured to begin with, and the other exorcist was weary from holding out during battle. There were just too many Akuma for the two exorcists to handle. 

"Run, Miranda-san! Don't worry about me! Run with the last ounce of strength you have!" Allen Walker told his fellow exorcist with a sad brave smile. _No, Allen._ Tears freely streamed down Miranda Lotto's face. Miranda wished she could be more like Allen. He was injured. He was sick. In fact, it had gotten so bad that Time Record could no longer heal his wounds (although Time Record had taken most of the damage for Allen's ailments in the first place). Yet despite everything, he was still doing his best to protect her...with the last ounce of strength he had. _She wasn't worth it_, she knew, as she cried, struggling to maintain her Innocence.

"Go, Miranda!" he screamed against the whirl of metal blasts, dodging all until he lost his footing and five Akuma collectively shot at him. Black pentagons speckled his fair skin as the young exorcist fell to his knees, gasping. His gun reverted itself back into an arm. _Damn it,_ he cursed to himself, the images before him sliding in and out of focus._You gutless swine! _Allen had to smile to himself, despite his weakened state. Even in his head, Kanda yelled at him. _Don't get tired out at the last moment! If you do this, you'll always be a bean sprout! _Kanda had told him on their first mission together. For some reason, Kanda's words resonated with the small white haired exorcist. "Innocence activate," he whispered as he mustered his strength to regain his claw. Grimacing, his human arm clutched his side as he used his claw to unsteadily support himself. _No, Allen. Don't die. _Miranda's pleads echoed in the back of his mind. Before his anti-Akuma weapon kicked in and the black stars disappeared without a trace.

"Run...Mir...ran...da," Allen brokenly panted through clenched teeth. _No, Allen._ Miranda shook her head vehemently, too weak to speak, as she watched in terror. Battered and beaten, Allen's body definitely faired for the worse. The kid could hardly stand. Miranda shivered, having a hard time trying to maintain her Innocence's form. No, trying wasn't an option. She _must _maintain her Innocence. At least then, Allen wouldn't suffer from his past ailments. And even thought the boy didn't seem to worry about how many days he would lay comatose afterwards, or if he would ever get out alive, Miranda worried enough for the both of them. _Please don't let Allen die,_ Miranda prayed silently to herself. _Time Record won't work if you're dead! _

Allen's vision was blurry. He felt light-headed. For some reason, the pain didn't hurt so much anymore. But before he could figure out why, he noticed a large pointy gray shape charging at Miranda. "MIRA..." Allen's scream caught in his throat as an Akuma charged from behind at Miranda's faltering shield of protection. Miranda turned just in time to see a giant claw meet the Earl's weapon, Allen holding the Akuma at bay. The Akuma's attack was blocked, but just barely. The Akuma pushed through Allen's defense. In turn, the white haired exorcist licked his lips, tasting his own blood, as he concentrated---his vision fading in and out---on turning his arm into a gun. With a final blast, Allen fired at the opposing Akuma---a direct hit, as the Akuma exploded into a million pieces. Miranda's grateful tears---the last thing Allen's blue eyes saw before he lost consciousness. His form crumpled, hitting the floor hard.

Miranda cradled Allen's head in her lap, watching his unconscious face---looking for any signs of life---as her Time Record was the only thing that held between them and the sea of Akuma. _He looks so much older than he really is,_ she thought as she stared at his innocent face, smiling silently in spite of her tears. She was grateful for what he did even if she never deserved it. But then again, that was just the type of guy Allen was. Allen was the type of guy you could fall in love with. Miranda was lucky to meet him. And that was saying something because bad luck followed her everywhere. Miranda couldn't help but think that Allen was a hundred times better than she was. _Allen, please don't die! If there was a God in this world, He wouldn't let Allen die!_

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, so maybe this chapter seemed more like "killing Allen" instead of "saving" him, but I promise you more if you want to find out what happens. Originally, I planned on making thing a long complete story (mostly because I'm horrible at updating my stories), but I was too lazy to finish it tonight, so I'll upload this much and try to write more tomorrow (hopefully). Well, what do you guys think? Should I continue this? Please review and comment. I look forward to hearing from you. 

And just for the heads up, I plan on introducing Lenalee and Kanda in the next part, if you're interested. It might be slightly Yullen. -grins- And then I was planning on adding Lavi later on. Please review and comment. Any suggestions are welcome. Who knows? I might use them. :) And lastly, thank you for reading.

Phractured Reality


	2. Here From the Past to the Present

**"Saving Allen"**

By Phractured Reality

Disclaimer: I neither own D.Gray Man nor any of its characters.

* * *

Allen Walker didn't stir. Miranda's hand lightly touched his cheek. It was burning hot at her touch. It looked like his fever had fully returned. Although Miranda was no expert, she knew that that wasn't good. _Please, someone come and help me,_ Miranda prayed helplessly, although that did little good in the past. 

_Earlier: _

Allen seemed to be Komui's favorite to send out on missions just like Lenalee was his favorite to keep at Headquarters. It wasn't long before Allen returned with Lavi from the North Pole that Komui sent him off again with Lenalee, Miranda, and Kanda. Lavi had luckily avoided this mission with an excuse from Bookman, who the redhead endearingly called "Panda."

Miranda and Kanda turned out to be a deadly combination. There was the fact that Miranda was afraid of Kanda, and henceforth cowered away from his deadly glares. There was also the fact that Kanda deemed Miranda more incompetent than his favorite idiot bean sprout. If that bad mix of chemistry didn't make things worse, Allen hadn't fully recovered from his last mission. "Achoo," he sneezed. As usual, he was lagging behind the rest of them. But Allen seemed to have developed some sort of sickness.

"Allen-kun, are you alright?" Lenalee asked, slowing down her speed with concern for her friend. Of course, Yuu Kanda walked on as usual; his long legs carried him farther than the rest of them.

"Allen-kun? Are you still there?" Lenalee waved a hand in front of Allen's face.

"Huh?" His eyes drifted back from Kanda's tall frame that was getting smaller and smaller in the distance. "Yeah," Allen smiled, careful not to show Lenalee what, or rather who, he was thinking about.

"Allen, you look awfully pale," Lenalee stated. Miranda nodded in agreement.

"I'm always like this," he said energetically as he pinched his cheeks to give color to his complexion. "See," he said with that goofy, clownish grin of his. Suddenly his knees buckled and Kanda, who was once far away, was instantly by his side.

Allen kicked and protested as Kanda effortlessly picked him up. "Put me down! I'm fine!" he insisted. Much to Allen's surprise, the Japanese exorcist laid a hand on the forehead of the struggling younger boy. This was the same Kanda who refused to shake Allen's hand, because he said the Akuma's mark was "contagious."

"Idiot, you have a fever."

"I'm fine!" the younger boy continued to insist. "I can walk by myself!"

"Che, as if. We're losing precious time." Kanda continued to carry him as the girls soon followed them. Allen hated Kanda's one sided arguments. There was no reasoning with the man who refused to call him by his real name. _It's Allen, _he continued to insist. Of course Kanda never listened. Just like how he didn't listen now. But there was something very comforting about being carried in Kanda's strong arms and resting his head on Kanda's chest, hearing the samurai's slow steady heartbeats.

"Thank you," Allen said suddenly with a bright smile. Kanda was taken aback by how crystal blue Allen's eyes were, that he felt his own temperature go up a few degrees. _Awww, Yuu-chan, you're blushing. _Kanda could practically hear Lavi gush, although the redhead was nowhere near them. _Dammit. That stupid bean sprout was the one that was sick! _

"You better not get me sick," was Kanda's reply. "Besides, you're heavy. You shouldn't eat so much. It's not good for you." But Allen didn't hear him. "How could you sleep like that!" Kanda continued to grumble.

Allen woke up in a warm bed in a candle lighted room. He instantly started to rise, but soon found that he couldn't. "Stay," Kanda's strong arms shoved the shrimp back down. (Allen: "I'm not that small!")

"Ow, that hurt," said Allen, rubbing the spot where Kanda pushed him.

"You're weak, bean sprout."

"Allen, you really should rest," Lenalee said motherly, the Lady Nightingale of the group.

"No, I'm fine. Really," Allen said weakly. "I feel much better now," he smiled that bright innocent smile full of warmth.

"Stay," Kanda growled once more.

"I'm okay," Allen continued to insist. "Miranda? See, I'm fine."

"Allen, you should go and rest. Me and Kanda will recover the Innocence. Miranda, you can stay here too and watch him," the Chinese girl smiled at Miranda. Lenalee knew of Miranda's aversion to Kanda. She clearly remembered the look on Miranda's face when she first found out Kanda was joining them.

"I'll try my best," Miranda said gratefully as Allen was looking more somber by the minute. All his friends were ganging up against him.

"I'm fine," Allen pouted in bed as his friends made plans. And everything was fine, until the storm of Akuma came.

_Present:_

_Please, someone come and help me,_ Miranda prayed helplessly, her arms wrapped around the unconscious Allen. Although that did little good in the past, this time, someone answered her prayers.

"Miranda-chan! Allen-kun!" Miranda was overjoyed to see the Chinese girl with two long pigtails until…

"How could you let him fight in that condition! You knew he was sick!" Poor Miranda suffered under the intense evil glare of the one known as Kanda, the exorcist who never smiled. Well, actually, Miranda had seen Kanda's smile (which looked more like a smirk), but that was only around that white haired cutie he often called "bean sprout."

"I...I...couldn't..." Miranda broke down into a fresh wave of sobs as Kanda attended to Allen's limp body. There was a long open gash down his side that was bleeding profusely. The rest of his body was covered in blood and nasty black and blue bruises. Maybe he had a few broken bones. There was no telling of what Allen had gotten himself into. After all, this was Allen, the boy who didn't care much about his own well-being.

"He has a pulse, but just barely," Kanda stated.

"See Miranda, it's okay," Lenalee comforted Miranda, holding her hand. "Look at me. You couldn't stop him, right? He said Time Record would heal his condition, right?"

Miranda nodded slowly. Lenalee was so nice---so good to her. Miranda knew she didn't deserve it. She always messed up, no matter what she did.

"Miranda-chan, I want you to stay here and take care of Allen. Kanda and I will take care of everything else, okay?" the Chinese exorcist smiled at her. "Do you think you could bandage some of Allen's wounds?"

Miranda nodded again. Kanda just continued to glare at her, as she hiccupped. His glare alone could probably kill its share of Akuma.

"Mugen, Activate," he drew up a long shiny sword.

"Innocence, Activate!" Lenalee chimed in as she flew in the air.

Meanwhile, Miranda's clumsy fingers attempted to fix up beloved Allen-kun.

Within the hour, Kanda and Lenalee finished off the remainder of the Akuma and reverted their attention back to Allen and Miranda.

"Can't you do anything, right?" Kanda yelled at the whimpering Miranda as he looked over Miranda's sloppy bandaging.

"Kanda, she was only trying to help," Lenalee explained.

"Shut up, Lenalee," he growled.

"Kanda, are you sure it's okay to move him?" Lenalee asked. "He has already lost so much blood...He might not make it."

"Shut up, Lenalee," he growled again. "I'll take care of the bean sprout."

"Okay, suit yourself," Lenalee gave a final shrug as she went to join Miranda.

Miranda overheard their whispered voices. Voices that were supposed to make her feel better. Instead, Miranda felt worse. _She had killed Allen! _

"Wake-up stupid bean sprout! Wake up!" Kanda shook Allen's unconscious form.

Allen finally stirred, breaking into a fit of violent coughs, coughing up blood. It was painful to listen to. Listening to Allen-kun suffer.

"Kanda," Allen moaned weakly. "I think I'm dying." His voice, barely a whisper.

"Shut up, stupid bean sprout. I won't let you die and that's a promise." _I hate naïve bastards like you. And bastards who don't keep their words...I hate even more! _And Kanda always kept his promises. With that, Yuu Kanda, the teen who only showed an irritable nature, hugged the small exorcist tightly, as if it would hold his body to the mortal plane. "Shut up, stupid bean sprout. I'm here."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Of course, I write very backwards. I can't seem to write in order any more. So how did you guys like that little flashback I had there? Did it work? In case you haven't noticed, I used quotes from episode 5 in the anime, one of my all-time favorite episodes, when Kanda and Allen first go on a mission and they meet Lala, the doll (I forget what chapters that corresponds to in the manga). I included a healthy dosage of Yullen, did I not? So how did you like it? Please review and comment! 

**addenza**- Thank you for reviewing! In case you can't tell, I'm sadistic. No, not the killing cats variety...just the healthy dose of watching my favorite fictional characters suffer every now and then. I love death scenes (of course I'm not very good at writing them), but I can do without the blood and gore. -shudders-

And just for the record, my favorite DGM characters are Allen, Kanda, and Lavi. Do I want any of them to die? Of course not! (Well, I don't care if Lenalee dies) But if Allen, Lavi, and/or Kanda did die (and not in the Allen kinda way where he came back) forever, I would officially stop watching/reading and boycott D.Gray Man. Now enough of my rant. Here's the part where I thank everybody for reading. So, thank you for reading and please stop by with a review/comment. I promise you a shout out in the next chapter. (Yes, there will be another one...hopefully...but I'm not sure when it will come out). So far, I plan on writing one more chapter to this thing, where you can look forward to Lavi and Timcanpy, our favorite bookman and golem. :)

-Phractured Reality


	3. Timcanpy's Mem'ries

**Author's Note:** First and foremost, here are the promised shout outs.

**Bochouslvr:** I'm glad you liked it! More Yullen, huh? Well, you'll just have to read to find out! ;)

**Skipper Cyba**: -grins- I'm glad my story captured your attention. I suppose I can't convince you to become a Yullen fan?

**DMFAZINA:** Thank you. I'm glad you liked it!

**SilentKiller1**: But Miranda didn't wanna leave Allen-kun alone! And Allen's hero-complex wouldn't let him run!

**Neoe207**: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Though I'm not sure if I wanna continue this story after this chapter as I had nothing planned…

**KHtrinity:** Thanks, I'm glad it worked. Again, I played around with flashbacks/memories...

**addenza: **Thank you for reviewing again. Hopefully I updated soon enough…

**Nichigo:** I'm glad that someone agrees with me! Yay, let's form a 'kill Lenalee' party together! And I'm sorry for offending any Lenalee fans (…no I'm not). Hmm…is it confirmed Yullen? I'll let the readers decide. You may think what you like and read between the lines as you wish.

**Vuti-Chan:** Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

**FireNose: **Well, here's another update. Yullen is cute :3 LOL

And many thank you's to everyone else who read(s) the fic. Now, without further ado, here's the new chapter…**Timcanpy's Mem'ries**

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray Man

* * *

**Timcanpy's Mem'ries**

By Phractured Reality**  
**

Lavi's watchful green eyes observed the grim faces of the party members returning to headquarters.

"Yuu, you're covered in blood!" the redhead looked mortified.

"It's not mine," the Japanese exorcist simply grunted. Something was very wrong, the future bookman observed. Why wasn't Yuu commenting on his name? There was something very sinister in the air. It made Lavi's blood turn cold.

"Well, who's is it?" Lavi prompted, continuing with his cheerful facade.

"Allen's." Lavi's blood dropped another ten degrees. Kanda never called Allen by his real name. Lavi wasn't sure if Yuu even knew it.

"Well, where is that bean sprout anyways?" Lavi grinned, his cheesy smile hiding the dread he felt inside. No, not Allen. "Did you guys have a fight again?" No, that can't be it. There was too much blood. "And I told you to go easy on him too, Yuu," Lavi clucked his tongue disapprovingly. Maybe if he pretended, then this feeling of horror that gripped his stomach would go away. Maybe if Lavi pretended that nothing was wrong, then the mood would just float over and everything would be okay. Maybe if...

"Lavi, Allen's dead," Lenalee's stern gaze finally silenced him. Too late. Lenalee said, voicing the realization that Lavi feared the most.

000

Yuu Kanda hated himself, just like he hated bastards who couldn't keep their promises. And now he was one of those bastards who couldn't keep their word. That's why Kanda hated himself. _Stupid bean sprout, making him feel this way. _The bean sprout even annoyed him in his death. And so Kanda was lost in thought as he retraced all the familiar nostalgic places. That's where he first fought the bean sprout. He was surprisingly weak. And Komui's robots had mistaken the little bean sprout to be an enemy. And that was where the bean sprout always sat for lunch. Ordering everything on the menu while Kanda always patiently waited for his soba (okay, maybe not that patiently, but still...) And that was the bean sprout's room, where he had run into the white haired exorcist on more than one occasion. And that's where they first-- Kanda blushed, not noticing the redhead that had trailed him for weeks without end.

000

Things were more fun with Allen around, thought Lavi. Now that that tiny bean sprout was gone, everyone was depressed. Especially Yuu. He didn't get mad at Lavi's teasing anymore.

"You're so mean, Yuu-chan!" Lavi pouted.

Grunt.

"Yuu-chan!"

Ignore.

That made bothering Yuu not so much fun, Lavi admitted to himself. But there was little else to do now that Allen was gone. They couldn't go raid the kitchen like they did most nights to satisfy Allen's humongous appetite. Plus, there was nothing Lavi could really tease Kanda about, now that Allen was gone. And so Lavi had been following Yuu-chan all week.

"Hey, Yuu-chan, look at this."

Kanda walked right past him, like the redhead wasn't there. If Kanda just glared at him, then Lavi wouldn't have felt like his efforts were wasted, but this silent depressed Kanda disturbed him all the more. This outward despair was the same feeling Lavi felt inside. _His_ Allen-kun was gone...

"Yuu-chan, do you wanna..."

Silence.

"You know...I miss him too," Lavi said quietly, the bitterness seeping in his voice.

Again, no response.

"It's not your fault that he's dead," the redhead continued hollowly. Those green eyes saw much more than they let on. "You know what he was like." His voice was surprisingly sober now that he dropped his cheery charade.

"Che, the bean sprout would die for anyone," Kanda agreed grudgingly. Kanda didn't know why, but that really irked him.

Lavi nodded. Depressing thoughts, he knew, but at least Yuu was talking to him now. Lavi sighed. The taller exorcist's sullen mood reflected his own.

"Now, if you don't mind..." Once again, the Japanese exorcist walked past the redhead, leaving him behind.

Lavi sighed absently before a sharp pinch raised him to awareness. "Ow!" he yelped as something gold fluttered around him, catching the exorcist's eyes. "Hey, Timcanpy!" Lavi exclaimed. He hadn't seen the golem in a while. Suddenly he had an idea that might cheer both of them up. "Wait! Yuu!" The redhead ran to catch up with the taller boy. "Yuu, what do you think about watching Tim's records?" Lavi asked. His companion nodded grudgingly.

000

Lavi and Kanda sat together in a dark room with an untouched barrel of popcorn that lay between them.

"Want some, Yuu?" the redhead had asked, before shoving a handful of kernels in his mouth.

Kanda flat out refused, as he hardly ate anything besides soba and tempura although Lavi thought he heard the samurai muttering something about how an exorcist must maintain his health.

The bookman shrugged. He didn't care either way. That just meant more popcorn for himself. The redhead continued munching on the popcorn until, soon after a few mouthfuls, even the future bookman lost interest. Lavi claimed that it wasn't "salty" or "buttery" enough for him. But they both couldn't help thinking that if Allen was here...the popcorn would most definitely be gone by now...except...he wasn't. And so the tub of popcorn remained mostly untouched by the time Tim's first projection began playing.

_Click._

The golem's mouth opened, revealing flash of bright light before a scene appeared in the dark mist. A full moon. A dark gothic Romanian mansion against the cold midnight blue backdrop of night. A brisk breeze was blowing, chilling the air. Shaky jittery movements. An angry and frightened mob of villagers paraded two boys in black exorcist jackets to their doom.

"I don't get why we're still tied up," the redhead pouted.

The white-haired boy shivered, playing nervously with his gloves. The redhead took notice of this.

"Allen, why'd you take your glove off? It can't be you're scared?"

"Can't be..."Allen laughed nervously. "Speaking of which, Lavi, you have been grasping that hammer with your right hand for a while now, haven't you?" the younger exorcist added innocently.

Lavi's hand trembled, white knuckles clutching his hammer in a death grip. "I'm not scared of nothing," he shrugged.

Nervous, uneasy laughter filled the air as a strong wind suddenly blew. Inhuman movement. Full fledged fangs. That's when they first met the Baron Arystar Krory. Later, Lavi and Allen learned about Eliade, an akuma who craved love from the only "man" who could love her. But even such an akuma couldn't escape the Earl's path of killing and destruction. Allen showed Krory the truth and the romantic vampire was forced to kill his lover.

But Krory wasn't the only one that Allen showed the "light" to. It was the time in Krory's mansion when Allen's eye first leveled up that Lavi got a true perception of the boy. "The world he sees...it's horrible," Lavi had once told Bookman, recalling that night. Those monsters...those grotesque shells of human beings that were reduced to slaves...Not even slaves...At least slaves had the right to act on their own free will, even if they were punished for it afterwards... The redhead shuttered at the thought. And this was the world that Allen saw everyday. Do you _ever_ get used to seeing monsters? After that incident, all Lavi wanted to do was hug him. Was it normal for a bookman to be thinking these thoughts? Probably not. He mustn't get attached. But Lavi also knew that even the great and almighty Yuu had a semblance to these feelings for the small boy. But all Lavi wanted to do was protect him. Hug the tiny white haired exorcist and never let go.

_Click._

The image changed. Kanda was now sitting on a cot with a bloody gash against his chest. Allen stood over him, carefully bandaging the wound, although his own arm was scratched from fighting Victorio earlier. Kanda watched, remembering this mission well. The spots where the bean sprout accidently touched him still tingled. He had been sent to Rome to retrieve innocence from a Millennium Swordsman named Victorio. Komui had sent Lenalee and that stupid bean sprout when Kanda didn't come back.

"Sorry," the bean sprout mumbled as his cheeks flushed pink. Lavi noticed a hint of smile that played on Kanda's lips. The future bookman could tell that the samurai remembered this scene well.

"These wounds..." the white haired exorcist squeaked, staring at Kanda's naked chest, as Kanda worked to remove the bandages that he had just secured.

"They've healed," was the samurai's curt reply.

"That's absurd...your wounds." Kanda ignored the bean sprout and proceeded to get dressed. "Wait! Kanda, where are you going?"

"My job is to collect the innocence, in case you have forgotten."

"But how?" Allen shot back.

"I'll figure it out," the samurai replied as he grabbed Mugen and attempted to push the smaller boy out of his way.

"Kanda, think about it," Allen said seriously. "You're hurt."

The older exorcist ignored him as Allen tried again.

"Please stay here and think about how to get the innocence from Victorio," Allen requested.

"No, bean sprout!" Kanda watched the Kanda in Tim's memories get really mad. "Think about it? I'm not gonna think about it!" he growled menacingly. "Don't order me around—" If it was anyone else, they would have backed down by now in the face of Kanda's intense glare, but not Allen. Kanda stopped midsentence as Allen's claw pushed him back down.

"I'm counting on you," Allen pled with those big innocent puppy dog eyes of his, and somehow, that made all the difference. _Damn Moyashi. You're innocence won't work against the swordsman,_ Kanda knew. _Innocence only activates the swordsman power to regenerate, and you can't fight without your Innocence. You'll most definitely get hurt._ "As long as you think about it, you'll think of a way," Allen reassured him with a brave smile. It seemed like the bean sprout was saying-- '_it won't matter if I get hurt...I trust you...'_

The Kanda in Tim's memory sat back down on the cot. _Damn Moyashi._ Faith and trust was certainly a weird thing.

"Hey look, Kanda's really thinking about it," the finder commented as Allen left with Lenalee. If it was anyone else, Lavi thought, Kanda wouldn't have listened.

Sure Allen saved him that time. The white haired exorcist had given Kanda the promised time to recover and think of a plan to get the Innocence. Even that stupid bean sprout could keep his promises, but the real Kanda had failed._ Dammit,_ the Kanda sitting on the couch next to Lavi swore to himself. _He saved me that time, but I couldn't save him. _

_Click._

The scene in Rome disappeared and Allen and Lavi were walking in the street. Lavi remembered this scene well. This was when he first met Allen. When he first found out that Allen was special.

"May I call you "bean sprout" Allen?" He laughed at the expression on Allen's face. "'Cuz Yuu calls you that too."

"Yuu?"

"Huh? Didn't you know? Kanda's first name is Yuu," he explained. Lavi liked explaining things, one of the many jobs of bookmen. He explained the existence of Noah and was surprised to find the younger exorcist trembling.

"I became an exorcist to destroy Akuma," he said, eyes hidden from view. "Not to kill humans," he said with such conviction. With that Allen walked away. Lavi sighed, his watchful green eyes following the white hair exorcist as he went.

Suddenly, the Allen on the screen stopped, still trembling, as the crowd walked by.

"Want a flower? They smell really nice!" A little girl shoved a bouquet of flowers in Allen's face. "Please buy one...Mister Exorcist." She laughed, pointing a gun to his face.

Suddenly, the redhead appeared out of nowhere and played "whack-a-mole" with the Akuma. Lavi found Allen amusing as he observed his questions and reactions, but there was also something strange about him.

"What's wrong with you? Since those guys turned into Akuma, you should have been prepared to fight. You'll die."

The white haired exorcist only apologized.

"You can't distinguish humans and Akuma, right?" Lavi observed. "Listen to me, until your eye heals, you have to see people as Akuma.

"But it's not like all humans are Akuma!"

_You're too soft-hearted, Allen. Too trusting..._ And the truth was, Lavi didn't want that quality to die, but Allen also needed the truth to survive. Lavi paused for a moment, softened his gaze. "You're afraid of humans, now, aren't you? Without your eye, you can't tell who's an akuma and who isn't."

Allen was silent for a moment. "Lavi, how did you know?" he finally asked.

"I didn't. I suspected everyone. The people you meet yesterday could be Akuma today," he said grimly. "That's the kind of war we're in. Exorcists are at a huge disadvantage. You have that convenient eye, but the rest of us find Akuma by chance."

It wasn't long before Allen met another Akuma. "My husband, he..." An old women sobbed at his knees before her face contorted into that of an Akuma.

"Too late," the white haired exorcist said; his arm was already at the woman's face.

Lavi couldn't help but think that Allen killed something that day and it wasn't just the Akuma. He killed Lavi's shield of protection. Lavi wasn't supposed to care for anyone. But that boy named Allen Walker fell to his heart.

_Click. _

The scene changed once again. Lavi, Kanda and Allen were sent to collect the "leaf of revival." The three of them were trekking together through the blizzard. Kanda walked ahead as the others fell behind. "If you can't keep up, you should have just stayed at the inn," he told the smaller boy, but the younger boy was battling against the wind and snow right beside him.

The white haired boy only smiled. "It's like you said earlier...we're here to find the innocence, right."

Kanda suddenly stopped as the rest of the party caught up. "What's this?" Two bodies were half buried in the snow. A young girl and an older man.

"Are you okay?" the bean sprout rushed to their side. "Can you move?"

The man nodded slightly.

"Dad?" the young girl cried out.

"He seems to be okay."

"We should take them to their home," the Panda commented.

The girl struggled, shivering in Lavi's arms. "No...there's an inn nearby."

"So we'll take you to that inn," Allen reassured her.

"Che. I'm going ahead."

"Kanda!"

"We're not here to pretend to be friends, right?" the Japanese samurai said as he walked on. But the truth was, he couldn't stand the bean sprout's face. The things that that boy made him feel. And he knew it was wrong. But his honor wouldn't let him admit that he might actually, _like _the bean sprout, so Kanda pretended to ignore the feelings. He found that the best way to ignore it was to ignore him. To walk away and ignore that damn bean sprout's pleading gray blue eyes. _Damn it, the bean sprout looked like he was gonna cry._

Lavi, seeing the expression on his friend's face promptly shouted, "Yuu! You're so mean! We'll go together after we bring the people to the inn!" the redhead shouted through the wind in vain. "It's no good," he sighed. "We lost him."

"I'll go ahead with him," the finder said helpfully.

"Thanks, Michael," Allen smiled brightly. Lavi loved it when Allen smiled.

"Aw, Allen, you're so cute!" Lavi naturally slung his arm around the younger boy, pinching his cheeks as the white haired exorcist struggled uncomfortably.

"Lavi, stop it," Allen tried to pull away, but despite that Allen was laughing. Lavi also loved touching Allen even if Allen was too ignorant to notice.

Kanda ignored this light scene as he walked on. _Damn, Rabbit. Damn, Bean Sprout. _He wanted to be the one hugging the white haired boy, laughing with him.

Allen and Lavi eventually walked on with the man and daughter in tow. They learned that the family was searching for a mythical leaf that could bring someone back from the dead. Allen insisted on letting the two to travel with them so that the exorcists could protect them if needed, even if no such "leaf of revival" existed.

"Allen, you're too soft," Lavi commented, but despite that, the redhead obeyed Allen's wishes. Soon they approached a forest where they met a group of three akuma.

"You know where the innocence is, right? Tell us," the akuma threatened, revealing its deadly cannons.

"We wouldn't tell you even if we did know," Lavi defended.

The Akuma angrily shot at the white haired exorcist, who fell head first into the snow. Lavi grabbed the younger boy, using his hammer to fly up in the air.

"Innocence, activate!" What looked like a cannon replaced what was once Allen's arm. An Akuma fell after being hit by Allen's blasts.

"Not bad at all, but what about those two?" A second Akuma taunted, focusing her attack on the human father and daughter. A girl's piercing scream.

"Stop it!" Allen didn't pause as he ran to take the attack. Heavy winds and snow poured on him relentlessly under the Akuma's gaze.

"Allen, behind you!" Lavi warned and rushed to help, but soon found that he couldn't. A third Akuma blocked his path.

"Lavi, take those two and run!" Allen cried out, as the young boy was literally buried in ice and snow. _No, Allen_. Lavi stood rooted on the spot, refusing to leave his good natured friend. Luckily, a shiny sword saved his dilemma.

"Mugen! Coming apocalypse! Hell's insects, first illusion!"

"Yuu!" The redhead was never so grateful to see the Japanese exorcist. The Akuma disappeared, but by the time they got to him, Allen was a human popsicle.

Lavi rushed to Allen's side and lightly brushed the snow off his damp body. "Allen?" the redhead shook him gently. Was it too late? The white haired boy twitched slightly, before his eyelids closed. "Allen! Allen! ALLEN!" Lavi screamed the name over and over again until he found himself hoarse. _Damn it, _he wasn't supposed to care. Lavi found himself carrying the bean sprout until they reached a log cabin.

Allen had a fever. He and Yuu left him there. Still, later, they met up with the three Akuma again. The Akuma had their feet frozen to the floor. Lavi and Yuu were both helpless as they couldn't move. Somehow, that bean sprout still made it in time to save them both.

_Click. _

The snow disappeared and was replaced with crumbling debris all around.

"Kanda! I won't leave you!" the bean sprout shouted even as the ark crumbled.

"Go," he rasped. This was_ his_ fight against that Noah. Although he hated to admit it, the others_ needed_ the bean sprout. Just like he_ needed _the bean sprout. And Kanda was never one for sharing.

"Allen!" the others called again. A dash of white hair flew towards the door, turning just before he reached the exit. "I won't let you die!" he promised the samurai.

Kanda watched his small frame disappear with a slight smile on his lips. The words giving him renewed passion as he fought Skin, the Noah of wrath. Of course, he would never let that idiot bean sprout know this. Especially the effect that the bean sprout had on him. Oh, how he hated sweets. He preferred bean sprouts.

And somehow, even when his injuries were too much to bear, even as he was_ dying_, "hope" had filled him. He knew that the bean sprout would come back. And somehow, Kanda had made it out alive, hadn't he? Somehow, that stupid bean sprout came through yet again...

_Click. _

Kanda's first mission with the bean sprout. That doll had just stopped singing.

"You're so naive. We exorcists are destroyers, not rescuers," he told the bean sprout.

"I know," Allen replied. "But I...

After a moment, Kanda realized that younger boy was shaking. "What's wrong?"

"Kanda, I still want to be a destroyer that could save someone..." He said that with tears in his eyes.

The rabbit was crying besides him with silent tears. These were Tim's memories. Allen's memories... A montage of grateful faces...Allen saved them all, but in the end, he couldn't save everyone. He couldn't save himself.

_Click._

Another grim scene. Allen Walker was facing the fallen. Begging, pleading for Suman to reconsider his life. Allen tried with all his strength to free Suman from his own innocence. They all heard the loud "crack" as Allen's arm broke. And poor Allen recoiled in pain. A scream of anguish that made their hair stand up. But despite all that, Allen still tried.

"Suman, can you hear me? I'm going to amputate your innocence in your right arm by using my innocence. I'll be able to pull you out then, but my left hand it broken and has no strength. You must bite my hand and never let go."

Another scream of pain as Suman bit through Allen's flesh. Allen's blood spilled on Suman's lips. But Allen didn't feel that pain. Suman's innocence fought Allen's, killing him. Somehow, Allen pulled the other exorcist out. Allen went through all that needless pain...only to discover that although Suman's body may be alive, his spirit was dead. Suman couldn't be saved anymore.

_Click. _

Asian headquarters. The white haired exorcist pounded on the wall again and again. "I must go back." His fist met stone, bloody and bruised. "My friends need me." Fist pounding against cement. "I must keep walking." Desperate tears flowed down his face under Bak's observant eyes. Other might find it strange. After all, Allen Walker had just woke up after being presumably dead. But Allen just pounded on the barrier again and again, his hands and wrists bloodied from the impact. His bandages untangling. Not making a dent.

Lavi watched from the couch; his emerald green eyes looked unnerved. His heart wrenched with tiny stabs of pain as he watched his Allen hurt. Lavi just wanted to lick Allen's wounds, and tell him that it would be okay.

_Click._

Tease. What a fun word. Black butterflies filled the air as the Noah appeared. A mop of black curly hair. Gold crosses that aligned against his forehead. Ashen skin.

"Tell me boy, are you Allen Walker."

"What did you do!" Allen demanded, his pale gray blue eyes accusing said Noah. "What did you do to Suman!"

"This is my ability," he said simply as he stuck his hand right through Allen's body. "Don't worry, you won't feel any pain. My hand could pass through anything, except for what I want to touch," the Noah gave a sinister grin. "So let's say that perhaps, while I'm pulling my hand out, I want your heart, boy. Without even making a cut in your body, I can take hold of your warm heart and rip it out. I can take out your heart while you're still alive. How do you think that'll feel? That's how your friends died."

Allen's pale blue gray eyes filled with unmasked horror as the Noah laughed.

"So, are you Allen Walker?" The Noah grabbed Allen by the scruff of his neck.

The card in his hand answered for him. "You are correct. This is Allen Walker," the Joker identified. "Delete."

The Noah shrugged. Playing with his cigar, he stuck a Tease through the boy's chest and let the body drop on the floor. Lavi gritted his teeth. There was nothing he could do. After all, these were just memories. He couldn't change the past. He couldn't do anything but watch. After all, he was supposed to be a bookman. His job was only to record the past.

_Click._

Asian headquarters. An Akuma had infiltrated the building. It was after Allen. Allen's body was broken. His mere form was having trouble staying on this earth and yet...

"Bak, you once told me that my entire existence was an anit-akuma weapon. I'm no longer a human. I am an exorcist, so please let me return to the battlefield."

Lavi studied the boy's face. He was crying tears of blood, standing firm with the same conviction that he had witnessed before. His form barely visible yet he still wanted to--

Bak just watched Allen go. The future bookman barely heard the Asian supervisor's whispered words. Words that Walker would never hear. "That's not what I meant...That was never what I meant by it, Walker. I'm sorry."

_Click. _

A sadistic little girl playing with candles. She stabbed him in the eye.

"You're a human! Why!" he screamed at her. "Why?" That's what made Allen so special. He cried not for his eye, but he cried for her.

_Click. _

"Run, Miranda! Don't worry about me!" Lavi watched as five Akuma collectively nailed him. Although Yuu never told him what exactly happened, he had a pretty good idea. Even as Allen Walker was losing his fight, he would put others before himself.

_Click. _

And finally, a note--

_I'm not worth anything to anyone, but for you, Mana, I'll keep walking until the day that I die..._

_-Allen Walker _

_That's not true, _Kanda thought. _Stupid bean sprout, you're worth something to me. Why did you have to die?_ One thing for sure--the boy called 'Allen Walker' would no longer be walking. Tim's memories. Allen's memories through the montage of grateful faces. Allen could save everyone but himself. And now, Allen had reached a place where they could no longer save him. _Damn, bean sprout, _both Kanda and Lavi thought. _Why did you have to leave me all alone? _

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, I'm finally done! Maybe you can see why it took me so long to write this. "Saving Allen" not because someone actually comes and "saves" Allen, but because Allen saves everybody else. The memories are out of order, and yes, I intended for it to be that way. As you can see, I took the "memories" from my favorite scenes in the anime and manga.

The Yullen and the LaviXAllen might seem slightly one-sided, but I figured that Allen loves everyone so...you know. You may have your own interpretations and read between the lines as you wish, but I just can't see Allen favoring anyone, and since according to the fic, "Allen's dead," ...well, we can't have his POV going around. So yes, I leave that up to your imagination.

And as you noticed, the fic is now complete. As I mentioned before, I have no more chapters to this fic planned (and since this is a very long chapter by itself), this is most likely the end. But of course, you haven't seen the last of me yet. I have another fic planned sort of centering around Kanda, Lavi, and Allen. I haven't written it yet (just an idea in my head), but I need help before I make further plans. If you could kindly please click on my profile and vote on my poll. It will influence the direction of this new fic. (I can't promise when it will come out though).

And lastly, thank you for reading. I sure hope you review. I enjoy hearing you're input. Did you like it? What did you love? What did you hate? Was it effective? Ect. All questions and comments are welcome. So if you could kindly click on that purple button...


	4. Request

**Author's Note: **Word of advice, but NEVER re-read any of your old fics a few months after it's made. You'll pick it apart like crazy! I can't believe this is so horrible...and the grammer mistakes! Why didn't anyone tell me! Oh well...I posted it already, so that means I should stop fixing it. Oh, hello. Yes, it's me again. Just ignore my little burst of insanity. This is Phractured Reality if you remember--just note the change in pen name. Currently, I go by splintered. Anyways, now that I have a bit of time, I thought I should thank everyone who reviewed:

Pay Backs a Bitch: Deal? Yes, poor Allen and Co. Of course, sadistic me was having fun torturing them. XD

Akky-Chan: -cries- FF messed with my spacing! It looked better on Word! I promise! Anyways, thank you. Hopefully, I'll improve in the future. By the way, did you notice that the memory blurbs got shorter and shorter? I did that intentionally 'cuz I wanted the clips to be shorter and more dramatic; therefore I skimped on the detail and just focused on some things in fewer words (just for the mental picture: I picture the later clips quicker and blurrier...if that makes any sense). I'm not sure it worked quite as I wanted it to though...

Skipper Cyba: Hehe. It would be fun to see Kanda and Lavi duke it out. It makes me almost want to write a fic about it (provided that I have time, of course). I'm glad you got the chance to read this. :)

addenza: Yes, Chapter 3 was quite a bit longer. I'm glad you liked it, even if it was a bit sad.

SilentKiller1: I'm sorry! -starting to feel bad for making everyone cry-

Lonely Kitty: I'm sorry if I offended you with any of my 'Lenalee bashing.' I'll try not to do it again. But I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. and shared my favorite episodes! :)

Nichigo: -with tissues at hand- Okay, so now I'm starting to feel bad about killing Allen...

KiyoiYume: Thanks for favoriting! -grins- I'm glad you really like the fic!

Hinjintetsusou: I'm glad you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry! -hands out tissues-

tenshi as123: Thank you! I like angst...in case you can't already tell! LOL

Mystica234: Crossover, huh? That sounds interesting...

And many thank you's to all you silent readers who saved me to your alerts/favorites. You know who you are. Over 2000 hits!

And lastly, I have a request...

* * *

**Request: **I would love it if someone could put together a you-tube video entitled "Timcampy's Memories" based on Chapter 3. Besides the last scene illustrated in Chapter 1, I believe all of the other clips are found in either the manga or anime. And one could easily type Mana's note... I would do it myself, but I'm not exactly technology saavy with the whole movie maker type of thing. For a reward, I guess I can write something dedicated to you...


End file.
